Spring
by Krentenbol
Summary: The Straw Hat boys are driving Nami crazy, and she desperately wants to know what on earth is wrong with them. Can be read as SaNa, but it depends on how you interpret it.


**Spring**

Woo, my second fanfic!  
Now, first of all, this is a silly story. Very silly indeed. The idea came to me yesterday when I woke up on a beautiful spring morning, and I wanted to write it down immediately.  
I sure love spring time :D. It has been great weather here in Holland for the past week, and the funny thing is: everybody is happy. Not in a dancing-in-the-street-with-umbrella's way, but just plain _happy_.  
Or maybe it's because I'm so happy that it looks like everybody else is happy.  
Anyway, enough nonsense talking.  
I hope you like it, even though it's very silly and even very stupid. Please tell me what you think of it, I sure would love to read it :D.  
And now the obligatory things:

English is not my first language, so if you spot any grammar mistakes or weird sentences, please tell me!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own One Piece. If I did, it wouldn't be as awesome as it is. And you just know that it _is _awesome, proving that I do not own it. Right.

Now, on with the (very silly) story!

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Nami massaged her temples in frustration. It wouldn't be long till her head would be exploding from a tremendous headache.

She knew she should be happy. Yes, she knew it. She should be.

They had just escaped a very cold and snowy winter island, that was absolutely crawling with Marines. How could they have known there was a secret base in the port town?

So after a lot of kicking, slicing, hitting, yelling, growling, and plain old pummelling, they had barely gotten away from the dreaded island. Some complicating factors were Zoro getting lost on one of the Marine ships and Franky nearly going ballistic when he noticed a canon ball had penetrated the wood of the Sunny. Her trying to steal a Marine treasure chest she had heard some people talk about, but having to be saved in the end, didn't exactly help either.

She knew she should be grateful the boys saved her from that creepy Marine officer that was way to strong for her. She knew it.

But, God in heavens, _what was wrong with them today? _

She watched a quarrel commence between Usopp and Franky about what kind of nails should be used to repair the damage done by the Marine cannon ball. Zoro was yelling at Chopper to stop worrying about him, even though he had lost (_as usual_, Nami thought sourly) about half of his blood in battle. Chopper didn't back away this time, but started to yell back at Zoro for not disturbing him while doing his job. Luffy was constantly begging Brook for a singing contest, because 'he was suuuuuuure it would be awesome', and he would win anyway. Right. Brook, on the other hand, wasn't paying his wailing any attention, as he was constantly bugging Robin with stupid questions.

Nami felt her anger rise again. _If I hear the words 'panties' or 'skull joke', ONE MORE TIME, I'm gonna toss him overboard! _

'OW! You shitty little...!' she heard Franky yell angrily behind her.

'Calm down, I didn't do it on purpose!' Usopp yelled back, equally angered.

'Didn't do it on purpose? How can you hit my toe with that shitty hammer WITHOUT DOING IT ON PURPOSE?'

'Maybe because YOU WERE STANDING IN MY WAY FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS?'

'Ah, so you DID do it on purpose, longnose!'

'No I didn't!'

'Yes you did!'

'No I didn't! But I would love to hit you somewhere else with this hammer, now that's something I _would _do on purpose!'

Nami tried to drown out the noise of the quarrelling crew members by thinking of a nice, warm bath. Yes, that was exactly what she needed. But when her thoughts were rudely interrupted by a flying hammer to her head, she couldn't hold back her anger anymore.

'WHICH OF YOU TWO SHITHEADS THREW THAT?'

Franky and Usopp looked up from what they were doing: Usopp from trying to shove tabasco down Franky's throat, and Franky from trying to squash Usopp's head between his massive forearms.

Fine, she had their attention. But not in the desired way: she had hoped they would crawl away in fear and stop being so _annoying _for the rest of the day. Instead they were looking at her with a defying gleam in their eyes, as if she was annoying _them_, as if she was stopping something important.

Nami sighed as she massaged her temples. Again. She felt the headache coming in all it's force. How many times had she bashed their skulls together today for fighting too much? Fourteen times? Fifteen maybe? She had lost count.

'You guys stop fighting _now, _or I will have to take. Drastic. Measures,' she threatened, looking as menacing as she could muster (which is _very _menacing, I can tell you).

'Peh. It was his fault anyway. So you won't have to take any drastic measures against me,' Franky said with a haughty expression.

'What? MY Fault? YOU were standing in my way, so then you can expect that something goes wrong!' Usopp yelled back indignantly.

'Yeah, maybe if you hold the hammer like a _girl.' _

Usopp looked utterly perplexed. 'Say that again, you blue-haired, freaky...'

'Can't think of better insults, _girlie_?'

Usopp never got the chance of defending himself against this, no doubt, very insulting remark, as he and Franky got pummelled by a very, _very _angry navigator.

'I said STOP FIGHTING, you SHITHEADS!' she bellowed at the now unconscious culprits. 'And being called a girl is not an insult!' she added angrily, whacking both of the boys again for good measure.

Still fuming, she returned to her deck chair and very important book about this particular part of the Grand Line. How was she supposed to read that when everybody just kept being so damn _annoying_?

As she plumped down on the chair, she got an amused look from Robin.

'Sometimes it's not easy being together on one ship, isn't it, Navigator-san?' she smiled.

'Bwah! Tell me about it. God, I don't know what's wrong with them today, maybe Sanji put something in their coffe...ZORO! Stop complaining about Chopper, and let him do his damn job! And don't stare at me like that! Geez. Now, where were we?' she said, turning back to Robin.

'You were wondering if Cook-san had put something in their coffee. Which I highly doubt, since neither Doctor-san nor Longnose-kun drink cof...'

'Yes yes, I know that! You know what I mean. Well,' Nami sighed, 'I better get back to my book, or else we could get in dangerous situations.'

'I don't think so, Navigator-san. There is nothing in the book that states this part of the Grand Line is any more dangerous than any other.'

'Wha...You've already read it?'

Robin looked at her with an amused guilty look. 'Yes, I saw it lying next to your bed when you were sleeping, so I took the liberty of reading it. At first it looked very interesting, but I must say I was quite disappointed in the end.'

'Bu-but Robin, this book has over 700 pages! You read that in one night?'

'I must have been a little tired,' Robin smiled.

Nami looked at her warily before turning back to the book, muttering things that sounded suspiciously like 'book monster' and 'not human'. She flipped idly through the pages, wondering where it all went wrong.

How promising this afternoon had seemed! They had escaped the Marines in the early morning, and quickly sailed in the direction of their next destination. Nami had read in the book that this island was very nice, and a spring island on top of it.

By noon they could already feel the temperature rising, much to Luffy's disappointment (as his snowman was melting).

Around two o'clock they could get out of their winter coats, and walk around in t-shirts.

Nami was surprised how utterly _happy _she felt when the temperatures were rising. For some reason you always forget in winter how nice it actually is to feel the sun's warmth on your skin again.

And it had affected everybody on the tiny ship, that was clear. At first all the crew members just couldn't suppress a huge grin (or occasional bursting out in singing, in Luffy's and Brook's case). But with the boys was also something...different, Nami noticed after a while.

Now it was around four, and the boys' behaviour only seemed to get weirder.

The navigator sighed as she looked at Franky and Usopp, who were sulking in their own corners, but were occasionally shooting brooding glares at each other. Zoro _did _allow Chopper to treat him, but had out-of-proportional heavy outbursts if the small reindeer put even a little too much iodine on the wounds. Brook had finally given up on asking Robin stupid questions (even though Robin had to threaten to tear his skull off of his torso and put it on backwards, breaking his spine in three places and using his fingers as chopsticks – about four times. This threat was spoken with Robin's most polite smile, making it a lot more creepier), and was now sitting somewhere with Luffy, probably talking about stuff that Nami would bash their skulls in for.

Ah, finally it was quiet on the Thousand Sunny. It was a creepy, brooding silence, but it was silence. Nami decided she loved silence.

And so the minutes went on, in a dark, brooding and silent way, but the navigator wasn't complaining. Oh no. Maybe she could even get rid of that damned headache.

Her hopes were crushed when a certain blonde haired cook came out of the kitchen.

'Nami-swaaaan! Robin-chwaaaan! I have made some special drinks for you, filled to the brim with my love!' Sanji sang, as he walked – no, danced over to the girls, and put a tray with some delicious-looking cocktails on a little tea table.

The dark, brooding silence was disrupted by this cheerful outburst, so it was natural that all the people present in this dark and brooding silence looked up at this cheerful being in a dark and brooding way. This, of course, didn't go unnoticed by the cook, and he looked back at the dark and brooding boys in an equally dark and brooding fashion.

'What is it, shitheads? Looking for a fight?' Sanji said with narrowed eyes.

Nami looked in a pleading way upwards to the sky, (_Why _me_, dear God?_) as the umpteenth fight of that day commenced.

_Everything was a__lright this afternoon, it all got worse and worse when got near that spring islan..._ Nami looked shocked at nobody in particular. _Waitaminute, waitaminute. _Spring _island? As in out-of-winter-and-into-spring spring? No, it couldn't be..._But when she saw her crewmates fighting again, she knew it was true. _God, those idiots. Why are men so...primitive? The sole reason those morons are trying to kill each other is because it's getting spring and their testosterone-levels are skyrocketing! Idiots..._, she thought sourly, rolling her eyes.

But what could she do about it? She had to do _something _about it, since the health of everybody was affected by this. If the boys kept on fighting, she knew she would snap one last time and do something she probably regretted afterwards (like killing everybody with Zoro's swords, or leaving them on an uninhabited island for three months...).

Nami knew the morons couldn't help acting like morons, but could they at least do that on a place where she couldn't hear _or _see them?

Getting violent had helped nothing today, since the boys kept getting in fights over silly things. And she already broke two nails pummelling them, and she didn't want to break another one just to see those idiots trying to rip each other to pieces again.

But then she got a brilliant idea.

She just had to remove one of the worst offenders against her much needed silence, and the rest would be quiet as well. That's what she hoped. For their sake.

'Sanji-kuuun?' she said in her most sickly, sugary sweet tone. She knew he would instantly take the bait.

'Yes, Nami-swan, love of my...-let go of my leg, damnit!- life? What is it?' he cried happily, as he tried to make his way to Nami as quickly as possible. But since he was still entangled with most of his crew members, this posed quite a problem. After a lot of cursing, kicking and yelling, he finally got loose and stood in an instant next to Nami's deck chair.

'What can I do for you, my dear Nami-swan, my goddess, queen of my hea...mfg!'

He couldn't finish his sentence, since he was pulled down by his tie, and his mouth was covered by something. That something turned out to be Nami's lips.

She could feel his face getting very hot in an instant, and he was absolutely to perplexed to even react to her kiss.

When she let go of him after about three seconds (which seemed an eternity to our dear cook), he just stood there, unable to do or say something. His eyes were wide open, his cheeks furiously red, and his mouth slightly ajar.

Slowly, ever so slightly, a smile crept on his face, which soon turned into an extraterrestrial huge grin. He finally collapsed with a loud 'Mellorine!'.

The rest of the boys weren't doing any better. Usopp, Brook and Franky had the most stunned looks on their faces, Luffy looked just very nonplussed, Chopper was hiding behind him, wailing about things like 'demon Nami', and Zoro looked as if he was going to puke. Even Robin had raised her eyebrows at her friend's antics.

Which Nami all would have found very funny if she weren't so angry with them.

'You guys beat it _now_, or you'll get the same treatment,' she said threateningly.

She wouldn't have to repeat that twice, since the guys didn't know how fast they should get away from their scary navigator. Usopp and Chopper thought of their fallen comrade, and grabbed Sanji by his legs to drag him to a saver place. They left a small trail of blood, coming from the cook's nose.

And with that, silence once again returned to the Thousand Sunny.

It was a scary, anticipating silence, but Nami couldn't care less. Silence was silence. And she loved silence.

After a while, Robin spoke up. 'That was...an interesting way of stopping their fights, Navigator-san.'

'Thanks. It was the only way.'

'You do realise Cook-san will be even more persistent in the future?'

'Yup. Well, it was either that or me having to toss them all overboard for my own mental well-being.'

'...Navigator-san, I'm curious. Why didn't you just send our crew mates to back of the ship –so we wouldn't hear them- and let them fight over there? This way we could let them get rid of their testosterone, and they would be able to function normally again. That probably would have been the simplest solution.'

Nami frantically started to flip through the pages of her book, furiously hoping that Robin wasn't able to see her ears getting very red.

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See? Told ya it was silly! :D  
And I want to thank Alliriyan for supporting my stories (I'm not worthy of your praise!), and spotting some grammatical mistakes (such as the little fact that forearms and underarms are not the same thing – oops). THANK YOU. You are awesome.


End file.
